Lost: My voice
I have lost my voice. It has run away from me. If you find my voice, please return it to me. I’m not sure where my voice has gone. Maybe it escaped to Mexico, along with my sanity and money. Either way, I sound like I’m going through puberty, again which would be nice because I would love to grow another few inches and totes be crushing all hard on Tommy from homeroom. I don’t think I have a cold, but I’ve been coughing a lot which annoyed my voice, so she decided she would not stick around. The problem is that I am still on my MONSTERS OF MEMOIR tour and this laryngitis thing has dampened the fun factor. Forecast today: slightly cloudy with a chance of LAME.
Yesterday I gave a little reading/lecture/Q&A to Girls Write Now, a non-profit that hooks up inner-city high school girls with writing mentors. They were an awesome bunch of whipsmart girls and I recommend donating time or money to them. YES GIVE THEM YOUR MONIES. I managed to squeak everything out, but today my voice was completely shot and I had a reading at the 440 Gallery in Park Slope. I went up to the mic and a bunch of garbage came out of my mouth that no one could understand. (This happens to me a lot but not because of laryngitis.) So then my friend Rebecca stepped in and read the piece for me. So a big up and a WOO HOO to Rebecca for being my stand-in. YOU ROCK. She did not impersonate my parents, though I kind of thought she should have gone balls out gung ho rambo. But you know, she’s not Korean but rather a Jew from Boston so it might look offensive or something. Anyway if any of you ever need someone to read something, I highly recommend hiring Rebecca. She’s got a nice voice. In fact, I think she stole mine.
Have you tried e-bay? Even if you don’t find your own voice, perhaps you could bid on someone else’s. I think your Monsters of Memoir tour would be a huge hit if you did readings with Sean Connery’s voice. Or maybe Ah-nold’s.
Hrm, good suggestion. Unfortunately Ah-nold and Connery didn’t have their voice up for auction. This is because they are horrible and unkind and ungenerous people. And in addition selfish. SO now I have to settle for Joan Rivers’ voice. Believe me, this is not my first choice.
annie,
sorry about your voice.
i picked up “happy birthday or whatever” at the newark airport yesterday. loved it!
thanks for making my flight - delays and all - that much more enjoyable.
liz
i’ve finally bought your book.
and i love it so far.
it’s like reading my own stories.
just gotta love our korean ummas!
congratulations.
I’d let you borrow my voice, but isn’t my voice yours? Or is it the other way around? Now I’m confused.
Hey Liz, I’m glad it’s being sold at the airport. I’m glad you chose me over Dan Brown or James Patterson. Thanks!
Hey imhkim,
Thanks! The scary part is that I know my umma isn’t the worst out there. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the rest of it.
Doretta, you should be reading for me. But you are in Canada. That’ll make it hard to read for me. Or for you. God I’m so CONFUSED
Yay! I made the blog!
It was fun reading for you, sorry I wasn’t racist enough… I tried to do a “slight Korean” accent, but next time I will totally bring a gong and tape my eyes all squinty like I know you love.
How’s my racism NOW!?
Seriously though, the reading went well because the reading material was great.
I hope your voice is better tonight, because I have to do something for Mara last minute…
Hrmmm…according to Amazon, customers who bought your book also bought some surgeon’s essays about the medical profession AND the new Erasure album. I’m not sure what this says about us.
Hi! I just read your book. It was really good and it quite accurately portrayed the asian-american childhood. Hope to see more!
Steve: No idea, but they also bought Joss Stone which is confusing because I am positive that NO ONE who bought my book bought Joss Stone. They pay to have their books/CDs linked like that anyway.
Thanks Jenna, I hope to see more too!